Govan Brown


Inspired by the most prestigious golf tournament in the world, Govan Brown arranged a putting challenge of our own to parallel the Masters. Firstly, it has to be said that the event was a smashing success. Attendance for the event set an all-time record for number of people standing around watching other people skive off work and hit a small white ball around the office. With twenty or so entrants, the tournament was hotly contested. Despite rumblings of creative accounting associated with the LeClair/Yilmaz/Hester/Pyne foursome, the event was carried out with the maximum sportmanship and honesty. Honestly! After the five hole regular course was complete, we were left with a five way tie for first place, with  Cameron, Darren, Sophia, Nathan and Eric all carding even par 15's. (Due to a confidentiallity agreement signed with the people in question, I  am not  allowed  to  comment that 


three of the above five finalists all came from the same group, and relay the anecdote that they were spotted feverishly erasing their scorecard after the completion of the regular event). And so we come to the most exciting event in sporting history - a sudden death playoff for the Govan Brown Green Jacket! The playoff hole was selected to be the tricky "Up the handicapped ramp to the mid-landing in front of the Bat Cave" hole. After Eric had failed to negotiate the steep ramp slope, Nathan Naka whipped the normally reserved Govan Brown crowd into a frenzy with a well-placed tee shot to the mid landing, which came to rest some five feet from the hole. After both Darren and Cameron failed to "get it up" onto the top level of the split green, only Putting Masters rookie, Sophia Yilmaz was left to play. Standing over the awkward putt Yilmaz punched a plucky  drive  up the ramp. The  ball  teetered at  the  top  of


the ramp, but could find no purchase on the carefully manicured carpet tiles. The ball rolled down the ramp, and with it rolled away Yilmaz's dreams of a tournament win, settling instead for honors as top femaile competitor. After a further series of questionable shots from the other entrants, an emotional Naka, tears in eyes, made a short putt to seal the victory. Nathan Naka: Cinderella story, onetime greens-keeper, now 2014 Govan Brown Masters Putting Champion. Presented with the Green Jacket by Commissioner (for life) of the Govan Brown Office Golf Association, Oliver Mason, an emotional Naka thanked his family, and gave a hectoring 75 minute speech, peppered with repeated condemnation of cheating by someone who's name rhymes with "Mameron Mester", as the sun set over the Govan Brown offices.